Helping a teenager develop awareness of the need to learn social interaction skills

[Adiemus]

Hi
I have contact with a boy who has aspergers, but has absolutely no awareness of his lack of social skills, nor of the need to develop any. He is 17, in his last two years of school, and has limited experience with typical social situations such as visiting friends, purchasing things in a shop, asking directions or help from people, catching buses or using a taxi. He hasn't learned to fix himself a simple meal, wash his own clothes or operate a bank account.
He was initially diagnosed as having dyspraxia, but meets criteria for Aspergers, although has not been formally diagnosed with it. He doesn't seem to notice that he's 'different', or that it could possibly be aspergers. He attends a normal secondary school, but has had trouble passing exams such as English and mathematics.

So... given that he's going to have to look at getting a job, learning to live independently, and start to develop a life apart from his mother - how can we encourage him to develop skills that will help him socially?

[ariane321]

Do you think he would agree to an evaluation so he could receive the proper diagnosis? There is a world of assistance for adolescents and young adults with AS and it would be a shame for him not to have access to that information/assistance, particularly at this stage of development. I think that obtaining a diagnosis for him would be a great start. Where are you located?

[Adiemus]

New Zealand...

[Adiemus]

Another quick question: do people with Aspergers often notice tactile hypersensitivity, eg don't like scratchy fabrics, don't like strong flavours, take a long time to try out new foods/tastes etc?
I'm curious, as my young friend has a very restricted range of foods that he will eat - and they're almost all highly processed, highly salty and he completely avoids things like vegetables, chocolate, peppermint etc.
Any thoughts?

[ec Roberts]

My tactile preferences tend the opposite direction. I wear a lot of wool, like highly flavored food, will eat almost anything that doesn't bite back and love to touch and be touched. Perhaps that is the same symptom, differently displayed?

Pops

[Adiemus]

It does sound like it's a similar thing, but expressed differently. Curious!

[ec Roberts]

Then, there is the fact that I hear Mario Lanza singing every time I see your name. Get out of my head, lady! (grin)

Pops

[Adiemus]

And every time I hear 'Mario Lanza' I think of my father practicing snatches of aria's from 6.00 in the morning until 11.00 at night!! His name is Murry Lennox.... sort of a similarity in a way...
BTW I don't think I have Aspergers, or if I do I have really learned how to manage it - I remember having to 'rote learn' the 'proper' way to interact socially right through until my mid-30's, now I feel quite comfortable....

[ec Roberts]

Take the test
http://www.aspergers.com/aspcrit.htm

Pops

[Adiemus]

Nope, that's not me - but both of them (particularly the second one) are SOOOO my young acquaintance!!

[Simon Maynard]

I'm very sensitive to tactile stimulation, and while I love hugs, I can't stand being tickled. The feel of some materials drives me cringing away (wool being one of them). I very often choose clothing purely by touch, if it passes that test then I will look at things like colour (I can't stand orange, it feels as horrible to look at as the materials that feel bad).
Simon

[Gage Underwood]

Are You Sensitive To Any Other Colors

[Lori Ghiringhelli]

Hi Simon, I am new to the site, I have a 10 year old aspie and he also has sensitivity issues with light, sound, food, clothing texture and cold. I am curious to hear from you what you think about his sensitivity to cold. Matthew finds it very hard sometimes even painful to be cold. He has issues with coming out of the shower and transitioning to the colder air. I hope you don;t mind me asking you questions but I find it a great opportunity to hear from someone who is and aspie and not a so-called professional that has learned about it in a book. What age were you diagnosed? From your photo you look like you are in your twenties. Tell me how you dealt with going from grade school to middle school and all the peer pressure and drama?